You lasted for only one hour! You have turned into a zombie!

Well, that was quick. Like, impressively quick. The apocalypse has barely gotten started and you're already done, which honestly takes a special kind of unpreparedness to pull off.

Here's how it went down: you woke up, panicked, grabbed your family, and bolted out the door with absolutely nothing. No weapon, no bag, no plan. You didn't even grab the baseball bat sitting right there by the front door. It was right there. You walked past it. Twice, probably.

One wrong turn later and you've stumbled directly into a horde of zombies, which, to be fair, is some genuinely terrible luck. But let's be honest, luck wasn't really the main issue here. The main issue is that you showed up to the end of the world completely empty-handed, like you were popping out for a coffee and the undead just happened to be in the way.

The zombies swarming around you in your final moments aren't even the scary part. The scary part is the realization hitting you all at once: you had zero plan, zero supplies, and zero situational awareness. Your survival strategy was essentially "go outside and hope for the best," and the apocalypse, as it turns out, does not reward optimism.

To be fair, most people don't last long when they're completely unprepared and moderately unlucky, so you're in good company. A lot of company, actually, given how few people make it past day one. You just happen to be the cautionary tale that plays in the first five minutes of the movie, right before the opening credits roll.

Rest easy. You really did give it everything you had. It just turns out everything you had was not very much at all.