How Would You Die In Game of Thrones?

Westeros has a hiring problem. Specifically, everyone keeps dying, and management refuses to address it. Weddings are a bloodbath. Feasts are a bloodbath. Small talk by a fireplace is, statistically, also a bloodbath. The average life expectancy hovers somewhere between "brief" and "shockingly brief."

So the real question isn't whether the show would kill you off. It would. The question is style. Method. The exact manner in which the writers would look at your character, nod solemnly, and decide the plot no longer requires your continued participation.

Some people go out in a blaze of glory, sword raised, name shouted across the battlefield. Others get poisoned at dinner by someone they trusted, which is arguably more on-brand for the setting. A few get eaten. A rare, distinguished few make it three whole seasons before a bird knocks a candle onto a barrel of something flammable.

This quiz sorts out which fate has your name on it. It asks about your hobbies, your relationship with animals, your feelings on ghosts, and whether you'd throw the first punch at a drunk in a tavern. Reasonable questions for a reasonable person. It's just that in Westeros, the answers tend to have consequences involving dragons.

There are no good deaths here, only interesting ones. The loyal die for their loyalty. The clever die for being clever near the wrong person. The ambitious climb, and climbing is famously the thing people do right before they stop doing anything at all.

Maybe it's a knife in the dark. Maybe it's an ill-advised trial by combat. Maybe it's something involving the weather up north that nobody likes to talk about. The point is, a demise is coming, and it might as well be a memorable one.

Seventeen questions stand between the present moment and the grisly particulars. The Iron Throne remains available. So does the graveyard, which has considerably more openings.