You're pure flair wrapped in confidence and a killer smile.

Congratulations, you got the most dramatic player in the history of the beautiful game, and honestly, it tracks. Neymar Jr. is a walking highlight reel wrapped in a designer tracksuit, and something about your answers screamed exactly that kind of chaotic, dazzling energy.

You are almost certainly the most entertaining person in any room, and you know it. You probably have a signature move, whether that's on an actual pitch or just at a party, and you absolutely do not tone it down for anyone. Subtlety is not your thing, and why would it be? Boring people are boring.

Now, the roast portion: yes, you can be a little extra. Okay, a lot extra. The theatrics, the flair, the falling down slightly more dramatically than the situation requires, that's all you, babe. People roll their eyes, then immediately watch your highlight clips three more times. The contradiction is part of the appeal.

At your best, you are genuinely breathtaking to watch, a creative force with skills that most people can only dream about. At your most Neymar, you are sprawled on the floor after someone breathed near you. Either way, nobody looks away. That counts for a lot.