Patty Bouvier

Deadpan, opinionated, and absolutely unbothered.

Patty Bouvier looking unimpressed outside the Springfield DMV.

Ah, Patty Bouvier. You got the sharper, slightly more sardonic of the two chain-smoking sisters, and honestly, that tracks. You've mastered the art of the withering look, the deadpan comment, and the heavy sigh that says everything a sentence never could. People know exactly where they stand with you, which is either refreshing or terrifying depending on who you ask.

You're fiercely loyal to your inner circle, which is small, curated, and exactly the way you like it. You don't suffer fools, you don't fake enthusiasm, and you have absolutely zero interest in pretending something is fun when it isn't. Your tolerance for nonsense bottomed out sometime around 1987 and never really recovered.

There's a dry wit in you that catches people off guard. You're not trying to be the life of the party because you've already decided the party isn't worth your time. That said, the people who actually get you know they've struck gold. Patty doesn't warm up to just anyone, and neither do you.

You're an acquired taste, and you're completely fine with that. Not everyone deserves the full Patty experience anyway.

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